Times when dating sites were the domain of sexual maniacs, perverts and losers are over. They are neither a midlife thing. The spectrum of users starts with teenagers (one-third of all US users), continues with degree holders and successful top managers, up to mothers of two or more. Overall, these sites mediate up to one-third of all lonely heart sections. It´s a little bit paradoxical, but restrictions connected to coronavirus work great as an icebreaker. It´s not necessary to think about the most suitable introduction. „How do you do in this crazy time?“ is perfect.

Openings are fine but slow down. Let´s explain how it works for those who are new in this. In short, it´s about creating a profile via Facebook or the page itself and setting filters so you can find the desired partner. Then, the „matching“ period is going on and you are waiting for likes. If you get some from your matches, you can ask further. So far, so good – and free. But if you like someone and you don´t have like, the money will have to replace it. In other words, like itself is not any guarantee that he/she likes you, maybe that person wants just a chat a doesn´t want to pay… That´s for the beginning and now, let´s take a closer look.

At first, the most complicated thing – your profile and rules of its creation:

First catch

It´s a bait that defines a fish that will grasp it. In other words, wild picture with a drink or in sexy top and pursed lips won´t attract any romantic person. A trustworthy but boring photo of yourself in a suit or with not-combed hair next to a garden bed of radish will not address any free-minded and adventurous spirit. It´s not important if that´s really you or not. If you think that picture is not important and even with the wrong picture you can attract a person who wants to explore and look for your true spirit, you are wrong. Do you think that you don´t take care of photos? Or do you think of yourself that you prefer naturalness: Bullshit! At the dating site, everyone will use profile picture as the first filter. Therefore, it will be about your grubby picture with reddish or boredom in a suit next to mysterious beauty with sunglasses and wind in her hair or relaxed guys in hats. Eyes and time are true rulers here! The first selection of fast and cruel as it chooses from tens or even hundreds of users. Do not underestimate the database.

But the true is, that more and more pairs meet this way. In 2000, it was less than 3 %, at the end of last year, ot was more than 20 %. And you can guess what´s the number now… It´s not about meeting losers or finding one-evening amusement. The majority of dating sites users are looking for a lifetime partner. And now, we are getting to the time parameter mentioned above. Users are usually parents or hard-working people who do not have a time to chat all day long. They will not explore of there is really something in grey suit-guy or a blonde too sweet, they will just click on the next page with plenty of more interesting faces. But of course, they may be looking exactly for grey suit-guy… Choose your profile picture wisely, carefully and truthfully. Make sure that it broadcasts the same you are looking for. Now, we can all make a nice photo with our cell phones, so, no excuses. And with a little bit of your body please, it´s not fair to offer a fatty surprise.

Second catch

„About me“ section is also very important. During the second filtration, hardly anybody is interested if you love animals, sport, you are a manager or if you have this or that diploma on the wall. The time will come for all of this but wait. At this moment, less is more. Quality vs. quantity. You need to address, to rise above the crowd, and at the first moment. Let´s take a look on some examples from real chats:

„I´m freshly divorced, ambitious mother of two friendly kids. I like sport and I in the evening, I often huddle with a good book.

NO! How is it seen by a hunter? Freshly divorced = divorced for a long time. Ambitious = workaholic. She will compare her partner with herself. Friendly kids = she is probably introducing them to somebody quite often and it is evident that she is not very successful. I like sport = as she did not name any particular sport, it won´t be as hot as it seemed. And ignoring other negatives: do you know anyone who likes to read bad books?

Another one:

„I´m just an ordinary guy who likes to laugh, BBQ and motorbikes…“

NO! Huntress will summarize: ordinary guy = if he writes it even here, he will be really ordinary. He likes to laugh = he will not také me seriously. BBQ = he likes to eat, drink and do nothing. Motorbikes = it will be his bike at first, only then it will be about me. In other words, he wants a partner that should amuse him, marinate meat and look that he is disappearing on the horizon… Only until the meat is done well, of course.

Another example:

“I like exploring the world and except great experiences, I bring back recipes and spices with which I make magic in my kitchen. I´m passionate chili-eater, but I do not torture my guests with it…”

YES! The fish is on the hook: she likes to explore the world = she is looking for more than just spending money for a holiday on the beach. She makes magic in her kitchen = as she is not fat, it´s clear that she is sporting as well. Passionate chili-eater = it makes my mouth water, I want to see her cook, I want to eat her food. I do not torture my guests = she knows to be humble as well.

And the last one:

„I´m a hedonist, I like high heels and singing in the shower.“

YES! I know exactly what he wants. Hedonist = he wrote it as a first thing, so he is pleasure seeker in any circumstances. As a second thing, he wrote about high heels = he will be pervert. But with his mention about singing in the shower = hopelessly romantic pervert.

Can I buy a house?

So, it´s about clear and interesting expression of your substance, your opinions or your interests. But there is one another important thing  – down to Earth. You can imagine it as buying a house or flat. You have to calculate how much you are able to pay and will take a look at actual prices. For many people, it´s pointless to look for a luxury downtown apartment… Use this way of thinking while matching with potential partners. No offense, I do not want to shrink anyone´s self-confidence, but if you are looking for a man/woman in his/her forties, without kids because you have your own, probability that you will find anybody who doesn´t want own kids but will like yours, is quite small. Or if you take our hedonist as an example: he is probably not the guy who wants just to show you his collection of butterflies. That´s why he wrote this on his profile – not to break hearts of romantic girls expecting a walk alongside the river with a passing kiss at the end of their eighth date.

Dick in his profile? No. Rather a book, please…

Just one word or comparison can separate success from fail and save time for both sides. Now I think about my friends, Zuzka and Jáchym who are now married and who met each other on a dating site. However, that site was not an ordinary one, it was sex.cz. They were looking for a lifetime partner, but this site has more than two million users and with this number, the chance for successful matching increases.

Zuzka created her profile and during a day, she had 450 answers. How did she sort them out? Easily, she eliminated all messages with a picture of dick in the profile. 24 remained, so she gave like to them and waited. Jáchym wrote her „It´s imperative that´s we should meet“

Dick in his profile? No. Rather a book, please…

Action and reaction

So we have a profile, filters, and matches. What now? There is always a chance that the profile is not authentic. That´s why a „control question“ should follow. It´s best to choose easy, but not completely ordinary questions connected to the actual situation, like „How do you cope with this house arrest?“ or „Thanks for your like, where are you writing from?“. Of course, you want to know more and get a feeling from unprepared answer. Cast the fishing line and wait how creative your opposite will be. Again, we will take a look at some real chats:

„How are you?“ „I´m fine“ – wrong question, wrong answer = doesn´t worth your time

„What are you doing right time?“ „I´m writing you an answer“ – Not very creative question but more or less funny answer = ask him/her to show more or choose more simple match.

„How are you dealing with the isolation?“ „My cat and wine help me.“ – nice return, question, and answer on the same level, likely match. It´s possible to whoop it up, but it´s important to watch over your authenticity and do not allow yourself to go into territory where you are not on the firm ground.

„When I did catch you?“ „I´m sharpening my teeth“ – this is clear smash after provocative question = an invitation to the wild game.

Hold your hats, we are running wild!

Who’s worth it?

First date: what he wants? And what does she want?

The same rules work for gentlemen, boys, guys – our great machos. If you feel good in a bar or pub, do not invite her to the tearoom. If you are looking for physical contact, do not talk about children and vacation. Every girl like flower and diner (if it is handmade, it´s even better). How you defined and identified yourself defines what is sitting on the other side of the table. Match brings the catch and no show just go on! Don´t fret, it will be OK!

At first, let´s find out if this trip is suitable for you, let´s find what is this all about. BDSM is the abbreviation of Bondage Discipline Sadism and Masochism – specific erotic plays. It is a compilation of abbreviations B&D (Bondage and Discipline), D&S (Dominance and Submission), a S&M (Sadism and Masochism). In other words, do you play at home (or in your mind) games with your partner in which one commands in sex and the other one is subordinate? Do you find it exciting to have power over someone, including few slaps here and there? If so, we will be compatible.

Hitchhiker rudely fucked

If you did not stop reading so far, you are probably interested. It doesn´t matter if you have zero experience, let´s begin! That´s what we did with my partner (today, he is my husband). It was innocent sunny afternoon when we were talking about the porn and what excites us most. I confessed that for me, the most exciting was the story of a hitchhiker. I can still see how she holds the car window by which the driver immobilized her when she put her head inside the car to talk to him. He got out the car, walked around it and then, he just fucked her rudely. Of course, it was a porn, so she was not protesting much, but I had mixed feelings because of my wet panties. Excitement mixed with shame and nuisance of myself. It was violence, crime! It was the first time I told someone about my feelings, and I did it because I had a full confidence in him. I turned red but I told him everything about it and he cheerfully suggested – let´s roleplay!

We were on the same starting position, neither he was doing anything out of the box of classic sex before. He was cheery, I acted carefully, and I was hesitating. We were not on a trip anywhere but is was more than enough when he tied my hands and I felt excitement unknown so far and stronger that anything I´ve felt before, except the orgasm. It was interesting to feel the harmony of our arousal. After the very first tightening of a tie, all has changed, his cheer and my acted dissent were substituted with his suddenly hard eyes and movements fully concentrated to the tightening of the tie. My own movements were more and more sporadic and more and more I was immersing to my role of a victim. Immobility and weakness brought me to the new heights of excitement felt never before. I was able to see his hellish concentration, fast breathing and I have felt him, hard as a rock, on my panties. When he grabbed me by my neck, in a second it was all over before the action really started. We were both surprised how fast it was, but it was clear that this is the point of no return and we both want to explore this new world.

BDSM practices experience of others in my surroundings

Alex (43), Design engineer

„When I was 25, one girl surprised me with strap-on. It was nice. Until then, I have never experienced anything like it – except my experiment at the age of 15 when I was trying to suck myself (it almost worked!). I´m not dominant but switch. I don´t want to fight with it, I like the game, enjoying both roles, exploring boundaries. I´m not excited by someone else watching me. But my girlfriend was enjoying having sex with a man other than her boyfriend – he could only watch. Sometimes, it´s needed for one to climax… Fortunately, she didn´t want me to do play the same „just watching“ game. Human brain is strange, sometimes, when you think of something extreme in sex, it can frighten you but sometimes, when something changes, it can warm you up, and the other way around.

Kristýna (38), Journalist

„When I was in college, once I´ve found myself in an intimate situation with two unknown men. It was wild, dangerous, bold and even I was fighting the feeling that I should be ashamed; it was very exciting, and I felt almost proud that I´ve experienced something unique. I was enriched with other layer of life.“

Kristýna

Real experiments were shown to me by my friend. At that time, I had both partner and my first child. I´ve felt that I need to relax and exit the stereotype of a family life. I´ve also wanted to feel like a woman rather than just a mother – desired and wanted. I´ve started to understand sex more in a connection with my psychic shape, physically as well as mentally. How to be creative, how to play with a body, with feelings, relations… I´ve shifted the sex into the spiritual plane.

„I´ve felt great, relaxed, rested, just great… My feelings were different and mysterious. And for our relationship, this was such a great boost! It was like falling in love once again. That´s why I´ve started to talk about our „different behavior“ with other people. Carefully, in hints at first. In fact, I was proud that I´m doing something special and unique, something others don´t even know. I wanted to show them off. I´ve also felt disdain for those who condemn these things while they do not know a thing about it.“

If you are not able to find relaxation and freedom in running, creativity or planting the trees, maybe such a play in the dungeon will help!

Alex

„I´ve paid 3 hours in the dungeon in Zdiby for us, but we have stayed for 5 hours. We played a policewoman and an immigrant. She was perverse and she was enjoying torturing her prisoner. But then came the moment when I stole her gun and our roles reversed. Now, I was the cruel one. The uninventive sex with the girl, even if she is pretty, means that it is without energy. But tan you meet someone you are hard from in a moment you look at her. I´m hard immediately as I embrace my girlfriend. Proximity, sexual energy, and dynamics are very important. It would be strange for me to play this with someone unknown. Without sexual energy, I usually quit early. With someone, I want to watch the TV, with someone, I want to have perverse sex, that´s how it is…”

Kristýna

„First of all, I´ve found that physical pain is unbelievably liberating. It´s like it cleans the body and washing up all the worries. I like the blunt pain as well as the sharp one, caused by the whip. I like as it is slowly spilling over my body. It can be compared to orgasm. And orgasm is liberating all the time, right? It helped me to find myself and to define my borders, which is also very useful.“

During the mutual exploration of sexual depths, there is also figuring out of any mental and emotional differences in a relationship. It´s important to count with it and accept the changes without an aggression or shame. In this world, you never know what comes of this or that until you try. Here, it´s not about brain. For example, the brain would never accept cheating as a healing process. But let´s save this for the next time.

Children of Trobriand Islands have quite a quick entry into their sexual life. At the age of seven or eight, they start with first erotic experiments and imitation of sexual behavior between adults. Four or five years later, they are looking for their first real sexual partners. Later, they are changing them quite often. Female sexuality is taken as equal to them of men. Women can be as assertive and dominant as men and this behavior is not only tolerated but supported.

There is nothing like a classic wedding. If a young woman stays in the house of her lover overnight and she does not leave until the dawn, her „mother-in-law“ will bring them the meal (sweet potatoes). From this moment, they are considered „married“ and for one year, they eat altogether. After one year, they eat separately once again. It is the common meal which is considered to be the confirmation of marriage.

Girl´s parents will bless the marriage at the moment she will accept the present for her lover. After that, she moves to his house, eats with him (not only sweet potatoes) and spends her time with him. The info about the pair spreads naturally. If a woman is not satisfied, she can go away after one year. Cheating can be a reason for the „divorce“ as well. Man can ask for forgiveness by bringing sweet potatoes and other gifts, but it is the girl who has the final decision.

19th century Finnish tradition – disappeared in 20th century unfortunately – was used to show involvement in a relationship. Those men who do not like to express their feelings with words were able to „go to action“. Young women were wearing the empty sheath for a knife called puukko, the typical Finnish knife with 15 cm blade. The knife was used for everything – hunting, fishing, cooking or gardening. It is well known that men are connected to their knives the same as they are connected to their penis.

This sympathetic ritual was a symbol of this bonding. Man bought or made the most beautiful puukko he could and tried to put it to the girl´s sheath. If she accepted the knife, it was the binding action and the promise of marriage, if she was not interested, she had to return the knife no matter how she liked the knife.

Nůž “puukko”

Austrians always liked apples. After all, the strudel was one of the symbols of Austria-Hungary. In 19th century, apples were promoted to the symbol of sensuality in the Austrian countryside.

Imagine that! The party of 19th century also contained music, dancing and horny men as well as horny women. Pure classics which remains the same. But there is a difference. Here, girls have apple slices in their armpits during the dancing. If she likes a boy, she will offer it to him, warm and sweaty. If the attraction is mutual, he bites the apple and it´s all done!

The Sambian tribe of New Guinea has one of the weirdest initiation rituals you can (or you can not) imagine. Young boys, seven to ten years, are separated from girls. During this time, they go through some crazy rituals starting with skin perforation, eating huge amount of sugar beet, beating their nose until it starts bleeding (blood is a symbol of „female force“ which needs to be flown away) and ending with drinking of semen of the strongest and most respectable chief of the tribe.

Their semen should give the boys masculinity and power. It is the only way how to turn a boy to man. And only a real man can start a family and reproduce. In other words, if young Sambians want to have sex, they must sacrifice something. Refusing to go through the ritual is punished by death.

OK, we are glad that we were not born as Sambian boy. But there are other places where people are „out of the box“, like Aghori people of India who have sex with dead bodies floating on the Ganga river. They want to find purity in the dirt and refuse the concept of ego and standard perception of the beauty. Sex have many shapes, the same as people.

Fluid secreted during the squirting originates from coupled (so-called Skene´s) glands. These are named after Scottish gynecologist Alexander Skene, who first described them. Contrary to the general (and vague) idea of squirting, the fluid has nothing in common with urine. The duct of these glands can be found right between the clitoris and the entrance of the vagina. Glands itself are placed in the upper part of the vagina and can be compared to the male prostate. Inside the vagina, the Skene´s gland is very close to another magical place – a famous G-spot, Graffenberg point. It is its stimulation which turns your partner into the fountain of pleasure.

Size of Skene´s glands is individual thing, different for every woman. Its insufficient size can bet he most likely reason why a woman cannot reach the wet orgasm despite the fact that you are trying your best. The amount of ejaculate is an individual thing as well. Its composition is similar to sperm (without any sperm cells, of course) and you can find glucose, fructose, creatinine or prostatic phosphoric acids in it. The fluid is ousted from the female body by contractions of pelvic muscles during the orgasm.

Alexander Skene

This magical area is placed on the front side of the vagina. Small bulging can be found with your fingers and after the stimulation, it will swell up and show itself in all its glory. It can be stimulated by fingers, penis or special toys – especially by vibrators developed specifically for G-spot stimulation. Or – if you like Venus balls, these can do the job as well.

Longer you stimulate the G-spot, more of the fluid will accumulate in Skene´s glands. But as mentioned above, the amount is individual thing. It can happen that the fluid will pour into the urethra as an outfall of the tubes is close to it. In that case, nothing will squirt out, but a woman´s pleasure will still be the same. Usually, a woman feels the need to urinate after the act and her urine is white and turbid.

3. Stop control yourself!

In the moment when Skene´s glands are full; women have a feeling of full urinary bladder and are trying to control themselves. Stop it! Stop it and enjoy the moment with all its power and delight it brings.

This is WET orgasm and you should be prepared for it. But it´s enough to put a soft towel under yourself. Or you can choose a place for the finale which can be easily cleaned up (the table, leather sofa, etc.).

5. Oil yourself

Buy your squirting gel, you can order it via the internet. It is enough to put a small amount on the G-spot and start to stimulate. The feeling of pleasant heat will come early, the area will be engorged with blood and relax. You can continue with the massage and substitute fingers with the penis. If you do not have specialized squirting cream, use common lubrication gel.

Passionate foreplay and gradual warming up is a matter of course. The key is to lead your partner to the absolute openness and relaxation of your partner. Without this, you won´t probably get a single drop out of her. In the moment your partner is opened and aroused, put two fingers inside her (the middle finger and ring finger are the best choices as this combination is not as wearing, no spasm will come and you won´t be forced to stop the massage) and stimulate her G-spot.

Then move your wrist in short and fast periods, up and down. With this, your fingers will stimulate the partner´s G-spot inside your partner. The continuous movement of the wrist with no excessive changes in the speed of movement is important.

If you will be able to meet these few rules, your reward is close!

The squirting is not athletic performance. Do not try to win the prize in the shortest time like a sprinter. In this case, the sex will turn into the gynecological examination which your partner won´t enjoy very much and will hardly appreciate it. Take time and practice.